Stop Eating to Please

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you simply had no choice but to overeat or take “just one bite” of unhealthy foods, despite a commitment you made to yourself to lose weight?

If you answered yes, there’s a good chance that you’ve fallen into the habit of eating to please. Perhaps you have a slice of birthday cake because it would be rude not to, or you don’t want to take attention away from the person being celebrated. Maybe you eat unhealthy foods because they were prepared by someone else, and choosing not to indulge would hurt their feelings or cause someone extra work.

You may tell yourself that you have no choice but to eat what’s being served in these situations, but the reality is that is rarely the case. You almost always have the option to control what and how much you eat, but choosing to make healthy choices may be more uncomfortable for you in some specific situations. How can you stop eating to please and take back control of your diet and weight?

The first step is to accept responsibility for the choices you’re making and actions you’re taking. Chances are, you’re not eating because you’re actually being forced to. You may be choosing to eat because it’s what you’re used to doing when food is offered to you, or because you’ve found yourself in a tempting situation and hungry. Whatever your reasons, recognizing that you’re ultimately responsible for the choice you make can help you look at the situation from a different perspective.

Once you recognize that the choice to make is yours, take a moment to consider all of your options. Of course, you probably already realize that one option is to simply eat whatever you want. You may also choose to:

• Avoid showing up at gatherings hungry, making it easier to decline food without asking for an alternative.
• Plan ahead and bring your own healthy options to a social gathering.
• Look for healthy choices, such as fruits and vegetables, among the foods being offered.
• Pay special attention to your portions, making an effort to fill half your plate with vegetables if possible.

Once you’ve made your decision, you may need to affirm your choice to yourself or people around you. In most cases, politely but firmly repeating that you’re not hungry or are happy with your selections should do the trick.